Think Twice Before You Join the Hacker Community

The hacker community was a new exciting world to me when I started attending meetings hosted by a nonprofit organization focused on software application security in 2016.

I wanted to supplement the front-end web development skills I learned from a book I ordered online. While it briefly mentioned using the Secure Sockets Layer (SSL) protocol to ensure a web server could communicate with users’ browsers in a secure environment in its “Forms” section (this book was published in 2011), I could not find detailed information about how to protect a website from getting infiltrated by criminals or just plain jerks.

The meetings were populated mostly by men, but I felt comfortable attending them. Everyone was pleasant and open to sharing hacking-related information with me. Ever find a USB drive in a parking lot? Know what shoulder surfing is? Do you use Kali Linux?

Around the time I started attending these meetings, women whom I never met started harassing and bullying me.

At an outdoor Christmas Market I attended with my family, a woman walked up to me and said that the only reason I was a part of this nonprofit was because of the way I looked. I was shocked and couldn’t believe this stranger made this comment to me.

This situation was one of many in which women approached me and made unprofessional remarks to me that referenced physical traits and inaccurate comments about my personal life. They also followed me at conferences and into stores. They cut me off as I drove down local streets and blocked me as I walked on public sidewalks. They falsely accused me of actions at my son’s orthodontist’s office.

They yelled at me at a public tennis facility as I watched my son play tennis.

One day, I received over 10 straight phone calls from people claiming to work with a healthcare provider. When I answered the phone, one person said something unintelligible and then hung up the phone. Then another call came through. When I answered the call another person said something that I couldn’t understand and hung up the phone.

For approximately 4-5 years, I endured consistent bullying and harassment from people I never met when I shopped, took walks and attended doctors’ appointments. It was so relentless, I considered moving out of state.

Desperate to end these disgusting acts, I went public. I contacted some of the board members affiliated with this organization and told them about my experiences. I also spoke with other volunteers from this entity who claimed they were on its compliance committee. Members said they could not find anyone who admitted they were party to my harm after I recounted my experiences to them.

Coincidentally, the harm decreased after I spoke to one of the board members who was a woman.

Lesson Learned

While this nonprofit might have some credible people who contribute projects and information that advance the cybersecurity industry and hacking as a crucial component of the software development process, I learned there are members of this community who use their skills unethically to promote questionable agendas that hurt people who have no intentions to harm them.

How to Get Help

If you have been a victim of bullying, cyberbullying, harassment or worse because you joined the cybersecurity world, I’m sorry. No one should get subjected to abuse simply because he/she/they want(s) to learn about hacking.

Call your state’s cybercrime unit if you think your computer or mobile device has been hacked and strangers harass you online or in real life as a result.

Contact your local or state police department for guidance on how to handle your harassers.

Speak with people connected with the organization that is affiliated with the person/people who bullied or harassed you. They might launch an investigation to see if this/these person/people violated any codes of conduct policies. Be prepared that some organizations might deny actions if they are unprofessional and unethical.

Learn about the reasons why people are bullied or become bullies by reading information published by credible organizations like HelpGuide.

Have you experienced harassment, bullying, stalking, cyberstalking, or worse because you connected to the hacker community? How did you address and/or resolve your situation?

Help others by emailing your story to info@safelyonline.org. I will anonymize names and other details if you are concerned about retribution and/or further bullying or harassment.